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Fear of Shoes

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What a woman who fears shoes?  A woman who doesn’t drool over every Manolo that Carrie Bradshaw wore and know the name of every Jimmy Choo and Louboutin?  Can I tell you I totally didn’t know how to spell that and had to Google it 🙂 ?  A woman who doesn’t search the sale racks at Ross, TJ Maxx, and Marshalls and squeal with delight at the sight of a pair of designer shoes on mega discount.  Uh yeah that’s me.


I haven’t always been this way.  I used to take pride in my shoes.  I had a beautiful pair of mock crock (remember I was a poor teacher) pointy toed, pencil thin heels that I wore whenever I felt like looking amazing…and that was a lot.  My students used to joke about not messing with me on those days.  I enjoyed getting a new pair of shoes just like it was Christmas morning.  My favorite character in Jennifer Weiner’s book In Her Shoes mentions they always fit and don’t’ judge about body size.  And that was so true.  I could wear almost any shoe and it always made me feel pretty even if the clothes didn’t fit right.

But lately I’m scared of shoes.  Two particular types in general…heels and my running shoes.  You see I’ve been wearing these types of shoes lately.

Flats, Flats and more Flats.  Even my uniform shoes are flats for now.  I used to wear these lovelies every day with my uniform.

Don't knock the Hush Puppies.

But now they sit in my closet collecting dust while I wear my old lady flats with my uniform and bemoan the loss of my lovely crock heels to back surgery.  My back just can’t handle it any more.  And so I don’t even drool over them because I know they will break my heart.  But before my leg injury I could at least wear my black heels for the 2 hours of church.  I still avoid cute heels because I can’t wear them for more than an hour without spending the rest of the day in bed.

But with my leg injury and since I temporarily halted PT (which will start again soon) I have avoided another pair of my favorite shoes….my running shoes.  But today I braved the fear and laced them up.

Ready to hit the gym.

But I had a plan to not let the fear of my running shoes get to me.  I’ve been fearing them because I can’t do the one thing I want to do in the…RUN!  And prior to my discovery of the pool even walking and biking were painful.  But now I have a secret trick up my sleeve…or should I say in my shoe.

A heel lift.

The Sports Medicine Doc gave me a heel lift to put in the bad leg shoe so that it would uh…lift my heel.  I could feel it shorten my calf muscle which meant that the pain didn’t set in until about 20 minutes on the treadmill and another 15 minutes on the bike.  And I brought along book for distraction.

Oprah picked a good one.

For me the book is enticing enough that I forget I’m only going 2.5 on the treadmill or have little to no resistance set on the bike.  Without it I give up working so “slowly” and go home early before I get a workout.

So for now it is two-a-days for least some days.  The pool at lunch when I can and a bit at the gym at night.  I enjoyed it but know I didn’t burn anywhere near the calories I used to.  My HRM decided to tell me I was a vampire again (reading 00) after about 20 minutes but I kept going.  If anyone has a clue on how to make it think I’m alive through out an entire workout I’d love to hear it.  It works the entire time in the pool.

I read a great piece of advice on Caitlin‘s blog today.  I can’t compare myself now to myself a few months ago when I was running a 10K.  I need to work with what I have now so that I can improve instead of worrying about what I used to be able to do.  If I keep focusing on the past I can’t move towards the future.  I’ll get there but I have to do this now.

Do you love shoes?

10 Comments leave one →
  1. 13/07/2010 9:31 AM

    Not a shoe fan here, but my daughter is. A big fan! I am glad you are able to do some exercising – even if it is slow. Take it easy on yourself.

    • 13/07/2010 1:08 PM

      I am trying to take it easy. I tend to push to much too fast. This time I’m taking a lesson from the tortoise.

  2. 13/07/2010 9:57 AM

    I DO love shoes, and I completely love flats 🙂 I have TONS! I love heels, too, but I don’t wear them very often.

    • 13/07/2010 10:53 AM

      I keep trying to find cute flats but I have to find ones with arches due to my back problems. But I’m glad to hear there are cute flats out there.

  3. 13/07/2010 11:24 AM

    I love shoes, but they don’t love me. I’ve inherited my father’s “Fred Flintstone Feet” – wide & boxy. I wear sneakers to work every day (speshul ones with roll bar technology from New Balance) because I notice less ankle swelling and no rolling of the foot. Hopefully things will get better as weight comes off (on the feet too!).

    Oh, and I’m reading Midwives too! I put it down for a bit, a week or so ago but I’ll have to pick it back up again!

    • 13/07/2010 1:07 PM

      I’m loving it so far…I actually read a bit in bed before getting dressed for work. 🙂

  4. 13/07/2010 11:27 AM

    lol, I’ve never gotten why women are so obsessed about shoes…I didn’t even know what Jimmy Choos were until I watched “Devil Wears Prada.” The only shoes I wear are flat and comfy ones, too.

    • 13/07/2010 1:06 PM

      I know what they are but they were definitely out of my price range even when I did love them.

      Flat and comfy is where it is at now.

  5. 13/07/2010 1:54 PM

    I love shoes…but I’m more of a cute flats type of girl as I am on my feet all day! Take it easy on yourself!! AND…Midwives is one of my favorite books! It’s great!

    • 13/07/2010 2:25 PM

      I understand that. As a teacher I could sit down for parts of the day.

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