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I Will NOT Settle


Today I realized some things were missing.  Hunni and I had a long talk about our workaholic-ness.  We have allowed it to push us to the stress point that has me almost breaking.  And honestly it sent us both into a bit of a depression a few months back.  We don’t want to end up back there.  It made us depressed but made us unhealthy too and today we realized we won’t settle.

No we aren’t having marital troubles but we are stressed out from over working. And we need to help each other destress and get back to enjoying life.

So here is our list of things we absolutely must have to help us not get so bogged down:

  • A day off. We are both pastors (yes both of us) so we work every Sunday. And our Saturdays are usually taken up with work events of last-minute stuff for Sundays.  Our office is open from Monday through Thursday and we often have night-time programs going on those days too.  So that would logically leave Fridays open for a day off, right?  Wrong!  Hunni and I usually schedule work stuff on that day too just to “get it all done.”  No more.  Friday is our day off and we are going to make it so.  No more answering the phone…they can leave a message if it is important, no more computer to check emails and do work.  The only excuses to be on the computers for Friday now is to blog and to check the weather if we are going out.
  • Vacations. Sure we are given vacation time but we have so much going on (see above about having no day off).  So in the two years we’ve been married we have only really taken 1 week of vacation.  No more.  We are taking real vacations!  Even if we have to use Hotel Momma we are blowing this popsicle stand and enjoying being away from work.  Sure the voice mail will be packed when we get back and the mail will be piled up.  But we need time away to rejuvenate in order to do a good job.
  • Couple time. For us this is a lot of things.  The obvious as well as spending time in devotions and watching TV together and old movies and all sorts of little things.  We spend so much time in the office and at meetings and then come home and do more work.  Him cleaning the house and me catching up on more office work that didn’t get done.  We don’t really take a break for us.  We are going to make more of us and less of the work.  That workaholic thing is hard to break but we need it to grow together.
  • Fun trips. So we know that we’re not complete homebody.  And we know we live in a pretty awesome area (especially if you are willing to drive a bit).  So we are planning to use our day off to actually get out of the house.  We made a trip to Barnes and Noble tonight (do I live at this place or something) and looked at a few travel books (okay I know that’s cheating but the library was closed) and picked some fun places to visit.  And even better some of our friends live in those areas and have offered to host us if we like.  This is going to be fun.  We’ll use some of our days off and some for vacations days when we want to make longer trips.

These are all things for our sanity.  The sanity we have kind of been lacking lately and stressing me out.

But we are also not willing to settle for:

  • Bad food. We have to eat out a lot for work.  With the distances we travel and the meetings we attend there are often meals involved.  Heck if anything The Salvation Army we know how to eat.  The only problem is the typical type of food The Salvation Army eats does not agree with my digestive issues or any healthy life style for that matter.  But normally I’ve just sucked it up and ate salad or ate the food that was available and suffered later.  But no more.  I made my digestive issues known for a meeting on monday so they have stuff for me and I’m following a Mama Pea trick and packing some of my own stuff.  As well as when we eat out we eat the healthy stuff we like (and I can digest) instead of the typical fast food most officers eat.  “Bad” food will not be entering my body.
  • No exercise. My workaholic status often pushes exercise on the back burner.  But no more.  My workouts are back on my calendar as best as they fit in my schedule.  Last week was my trial run and it was awesome.  I got in great workouts and enjoyed them with the help of my book.  And as soon as I can fix the tires on Hunni’s bike we’ll be hitting the bike trails again for some rides and defending Hunni against the geese.  We like exercise and it makes me feel better and have more energy to do my job in my now restrained methods.
  • No privacy. We are too open with everything.  We answer the phone for every little thing from our congregation and change our own personal plans for them.  I’m not saying that we aren’t going to continue shepherding our people but we need to let them know that there are boundaries.  It is our own fault for not setting them better in the beginning but we need to set them firm now so that our time is our time. We need to be a strong and healthy couple to lead our people the best way possible.

So as of today We (Hunni and I) are no longer settling.  We are making decisions that make us better.  And we hope to be stronger and wiser because of it.

What are you not settling for?

15 Comments leave one →
  1. Meg permalink
    19/05/2010 7:04 AM

    Yay! Good for Hunni and you! You deserve these things and more. I think you’ve inspired Keith and I to have some talks and figure out what OUR priorities are. We spend too much time meeting the needs of our family and friends and our marriage gets put on the back burner.

    I hope this brings great things for your marriage!

  2. 19/05/2010 8:27 AM

    Those are great goals, and it’s definitely necessary to have some days off! Sounds like you guys have a good plan in place to make sure you’re taking some time off and just spending more time together.

  3. 19/05/2010 11:29 AM

    no longer will I shut out God. Especially robbing my body from loving God and from the beauty that God has made me. The food isn’t honouring my body, but more it’s not honouring my relationship and my faith. It hit me today that although I hate the fact that I have all of these ‘issues’’s what God has given me and frankly…acknowledging that has brought me so much peace.

  4. Mandy permalink
    19/05/2010 6:00 PM

    Go you!

    What a great feeling to be able to say YES to some things and NO to others. 🙂

  5. Katherine: What About Summer? permalink
    19/05/2010 6:51 PM

    I will not settle for being thought of as lame because I can’t get a job! I am better than that

    wonderful post; I like the concept a lot

    • 20/05/2010 1:07 PM

      In the economy a job doesn’t make you something. The power to persevere when you can’t get one shows character.

  6. 19/05/2010 7:43 PM

    Serving in the ministry makes it very difficult to set boundaries. It’s so different from a regular corporate job. I think you are really wise to set those boundaries and make some time for yourselves.

    • 20/05/2010 1:09 PM

      Thank you for the understand Diane. Some don’t understand my job doesn’t end when the office closes. I need to create those boundaries for us.

  7. 19/05/2010 9:38 PM

    I definitely agree with what you must have (sans couple time since I am a singleton!) Work has been super stressful for me lately and this past wknd was the first one in three wks where I didn’t work on Saturday. I am taking this Friday off just to relax, possibly sleep in and have some me time.

    • 19/05/2010 10:24 PM

      It makes a tons of difference when you get some rest. Good for you!


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