Be Kind to Yourself
Let’s just face it, my week has been crap. Work has been keeping me so busy and on edge that I’ve only had time to get my to-do list done if that. And my IBS has been acting up a bunch for who knows what…I’m eating right so I’m blaming the dog. Nah can’t blame these beauties.
And I had a panic attack twice yesterday so all I wanted to do was eat to soothe myself. I was so negative toward myself and all the things I’ve been doing of late. It was like being in the ring with Mike Tyson…I really felt like I was biting my own ear off with all the horrible things I was saying. And it wouldn’t stop. And when I’m in distress I downward spiral and crave sugar like none other. The only problem is that sugar would have just made things worse. So I cried and cried and beat myself up some more. Poor Hunni did his best to help and told me so many wonderful things about myself but the panic continued.
The poor guy finally fell asleep and I was left to wallow in my own misery. I thought really long and hard about getting up and going to the kitchen to just binge. That was my old habit when I felt the worst of the worst. Just eat until I was sick and felt horrible like I kept telling myself I was. But what would that accomplish. So I laid there and flopped back and for like a dying fish and though about what I was really saying.
I decided for each negative thought or phrase that entered my head I would combat it with 3 positive. I was telling myself all the things that I’ve done well and that I’m a good friend and that I’m a hard worker and the list went on and on because the negative thoughts kept coming. Then they just stopped. I think I had worn down that little evil man who lives up there and tells me all these bad things. Maybe he’s just taking a nap but I could finally sleep. Sure I don’t feel the greatest after a night like that but I fought back this time and not with food.
And to make it even better instead of eating the crap that I could have (not that we have much of it in the house right now because Hunni is breaking his sugar habit…Go Hunni!) I went to the gym this morning. Thursdays are my LOOOOOOOOOONGGGGGGGG day and Hunni stays in the office while I hit the treadmill. And I ran and ran and ran. I planned on running for 45 minutes but just felt like running more. And since I haven’t run since Sunday my legs could take it. I ran 5 miles and sweated all that negativity out of my body. I felt amazing afterword and strong. Strong like I can face the opposition at work that might still crop up and strong to fight this demon in my intestines that craves the things that hurt the most.
So I’m telling you be kind to yourself. The next time you get in the ring with yourself and are feeling just beat down…fight back. For every negative thing you say to yourself tell yourself 3 nice things about yourself. And for all the crap you want to feed your emotions with feed them with something else. I love running and feel great afterward but if you enjoy gossip magazines read one or read a book or go for a walk or chat with a girlfriend. Just be kind to yourself and you’ll feel much better afterward than if you let the bad stuff win.
What are you going to do today to be kind to yourself?