Cynthia six months from now needs to hear how I feel today about myself and my health. So Cynthia check back on this on 11 August 2010 right before you run your first Half Marathon in Philly.
Today you did it. You completed your 2.25 miles of training in under 45 minutes. It may not sound like much but in February it was huge. It was the farthest you’ve run straight and felt awesome. You didn’t even want to stop. You could feel the fans from the ceiling at the gym (it is February after all) and dream of running outside in just a few short months for your 10K. You could picture yourself doing this for a life time. You enjoyed every drop of sweat and every pound of your foot. You didn’t care that some doctors had told you that you may never do this again because you were doing it now. You were running and it didn’t hurt. Not one bit.
Remember the release of all the stress you’ve built in your shoulders and remember how they all just melted away as you pounded out the miles on the treadmill. Remember the exhilaration as you watched the mileage clock up and visions of racing around Hartford for your 10K in April as everyone cheers you on. Remember the pride you felt that you can and will run the longest race of your life post surgery and fell great doing it. Remember that you will run even more in just a few short days from reading this letter. You will meet your running hero and be a part of a race that you never thought imaginable. Remember the happiness you felt with Hunni’is excitement to run the race with you and friends are coming out to see you be a crazy pastor and run right before Easter and in the August heat.
Remember that today you are a runner. You are not the person you used to be who only ran while being chased. You run for the joy and thrill of just throwing on your shoes (okay and back brace) and hitting the treadmill or trails. Remember that you are an athlete who got in a great upper body workout after your run just because you could. Remember that people see you as healthy and fit and you need to see yourself that way. You are not just thin you are fit.
You can’t change the past full of bad choices and self-hatred. But you can change your future. You decide what you do and where you go. You decide when to run and what to train for. You decide how hard and far you want to push yourself. You decide your health not the memories of your past. That’s just what they are…PAST! You are new and you are you. Embrace yourself…Love yourself. If you don’t love yourself first who will? You deserve self-love and the love of those around you.
You are amazing today and always…don’t forget it. Believe it because it is true…trust me it is.
Love you lots,
What would you say to yourself 6 months from now if you had the chance?