It only took 3 years and 8 months but I am finally at a happy healthy weight that I feel comfortable maintaining. I originally set my Weight Watchers goal at 155 but that was super ambitious and finally settled on 165 to be comfortable. And on Saturday morning I hit it. I did it! I reached my goal weight. I was so happy that I jumped off the scale and did a little dance. I had to control my excitement but had a huge smile on my face and kept giggling the entire time. I was so proud of myself and everyone at my meeting was super proud as well. I’ve lost and entire person…she’d be a skinny B**** but I lost her… good riddance.
Now comes the scary part of maintaining my weight for the next 6 weeks so I can hit lifetime. I know I can do it and I’m not so scared about that part. I have a great support system and I know how to eat and exercise. My fear is that I won’t get that high from seeing the scale go down every week. I don’t want to be unhealthy and keep losing really so I know I need to pick some new goals. I’m open to suggestions…
Do you have any goals to help you once you stopped losing weight?
I thought it would be a nice trip down memory lane to tell you about how I got as big as I did and how I got to be hot! No I’m not hot but I feel great… 🙂
I was actually a pretty average kid. I grew up in the age of no digital cameras and I still don’t own a scanner so no pics for you. But picture a cute little strawberry blonde girl who liked to climb trees and run with the boys. I was awesome at playing soccer but looked cute in a little dress too. Both my parents enjoyed this because my dad could play sports with me and my mom could dress me up.
Fast forward to 5th grade when my family moved back to the USA from being stationed in Germany (my dad was US Army). My parents fought a lot and eventually got divorced when I was in 7th grade. I ate my feelings this entire time. I gained a good bit of weight and started wearing more stretch pants. Thank God this was the fashion back then. You know what I mean, something like this…
Yeah I was cool but didn’t feel good about my body. I tried all sorts of diets from slim fast to starvation and none of it worked. I just kept getting bigger. Finally after my junior year of college I just resigned myself to being the fat friend. I wasn’t happy but I felt helpless. I actually threw out my scale and hated going to the doctor when they would weigh me.
It wasn’t until when I was applying to seminary that it really sunk in that I needed to lose weight. I had this picture taken with my cousins when they were all visiting and I realized I did not look healthy.
The pants didn’t fit well, the shirt wouldn’t button and I was miserable. I even had these pics taken for my seminary application and was horrified.
I determined that I needed to lose weight because I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to handle all the work in seminary. I gave all my cookies and candy and high calorie food to a friend with kids. Yeah it probably wasn’t great for them to be eating it but I didn’t want it to go to waste. Besides her husband was a stick and he could eat that and still exercise to keep the weight off…darn men.
I spent a ton of money at the grocery store restocking my shelves with healthy staples and got a calorie counting book and journal to keep track. I didn’t weigh myself at this point because I was horrified at what I might see on the scale. My friend (the same one I gave the food to) and I started going for walks with her daughter in the stroller. It was a great time to socialize and I got to push the stroller for extra weight. Our town was full of hills so I was always huffing and puffing and trying not to swear under my breath. I bought an iPod to use when she couldn’t go for walks with me. I started walking the mile to the grocery store with my backpack to carry my groceries home when I could. I was hard-core. I never claimed to be normal. My OCD made feel like I had to go whole hog into this if I was going to succeed. I even joined the rinky dink gym in town to use the one elliptical they had or take step classes. I even asked the big body builder owner to teach me how to do some weights so that I could burn calories more efficiently.
I was nuts really. My schedule had me going from work at 3PM to the church to help out then straight to the gym. I would pack my gym clothes in my book bag because I knew once I got home I wouldn’t go back out. I would walk to church on Sunday and back unless it was raining to get in some extra activity. I started using one of those reusable grocery bags for my lunch bag before it was en vogue to do so. Yeah I was ahead of my time 🙂 Really I just had way to much Tupperware to use a regular lunch bag. I got strange looks when I would eat snacks on my prep period while grading papers but I was dedicated. And I enjoyed my salads and healthy lunches even though I drooled over the greasy junk I used to order with the rest of the teachers. I just knew that it was not good for me so I’d compromise and get a salad with boneless buffalo wings instead of my regular Buffalo Wing Sub with lots of cheese and blue cheese dressing.
Any way by the time I went to seminary I had gone from that pic above to this….
At the seminary they had placed the pics we submitted with our applications on the bulletin board with our names so the upper classmen and our own session mates could “get to know us” before we arrived. No one knew who I was because I looked so different. I was down about 90 pounds at that point. I was a whole new person. I don’t know the exact weight loss because I didn’t start weighing myself until I was 265 when I bought a scale. I had lost about a pant size by then and wanted to see how much I was losing. I still actually have that scale. It’s been with me through the entire journey.
I gained back about 25 pound over the course of the next year and a half because the food was plentiful and the exercise time was limited. I was not happy so I joined Weight Watchers in January of my second year. I have been technically counting calories the entire time but had gotten lax about it. I needed a change. Weight Watchers and the meetings provided that new structure. Unfortunately I hate the leader and almost quit because she grated my last nerve. I finally decided to go to a regular meeting at a center and met the most awesome leader named Kim. She made each meeting fun and supported us all. I used that time to work on losing weight for my wedding but mostly for me. I wanted to be happy but also a beautiful bride. And I was….
My dress was too big. The seamstress never took it in enough and I was so out of it with seminary graduation and ordination, wedding planning and being on mucho pain pills I think it completely slipped my mind to try on my dress the week of the wedding. Ooops. Thank God on of my bridesmaids is pretty handy with a needle and thread. Otherwise you would have seen my nice bride lacy undies… they were my something blue 🙂 It was a great feeling to look so good at the wedding. Too bad I don’t remember much of it due to the tranquilizer and pain pills. Apparently I told everyone at the reception that I wanted to end early so I could go to the hotel to do you know what with my new husband… I have no recollection of this but Hunni still cracks up and so do some of our friends 😉
That was the lowest I’d been at 163.5 but wasn’t very fit due to the injury. Through the move and surgery I gained about 7 pounds. Now I’ve been fighting with those last 7 pounds for about a year. I finally got to my goal and I’m stronger and faster than I’ve ever been. I’m happy to have worked so hard and I’m proud that I stuck it out. I feel like a new person and I really am. I feel great.
Over the next week or so I’m going to post some ideas for other mini-goals and a large goal I can do to keep myself motivated without the feedback of the scale. I’d love some feedback from you lovely readers as I plan my next course 🙂
Sorry if you read all of this and it was a lot of repeat of the My Journey page. But I really am an AFTER now and I’m super excited.