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Green-Eyed Monster


We call Leo the green-eyed monster, or Mr. Jealousy, or lots of other stuff because no fail if you pet Peanut he is right there trying to push her out-of-the-way to get petted.  He is so needy that he needs to be petted at all times… he can’t even stand to be petted by Hunni if I’m petting Peanut.  He’s just that jealous.


I kind of felt like that the other day when I went to a meeting.  A fellow officer has lost about 60 pounds since giving birth last December.  I’m super proud of her because she changed her lifestyle completely.  She is eating healthy and is running now.  She looks great!  Everyone was complimenting her because most of us haven’t seen her since May. 

But I couldn’t help myself feeling jealous.  People have stopped noticing that I’ve lost weight and now just see me as a fit person.  In fact most people I know now have never seen me at my heaviest and have no idea how much work I put into losing all the weight.  When I first started losing weight people were always complimenting me on my efforts, on the way my body was changing, on my exercising, on my persistance, how thin I looked.  Now people just think of me as the thin runner girl who had back surgery.  And soon I won’t even be remembered as having back surgery either.


I wanted to scream… “I LOST WEIGHT TOO!”  “I WORKED MY BUTT OFF TOO!”  Every fiber of my being wanted to scream out that I still have to watch what I eat and exercise in order to maintain my health.  I enjoy the way I look and my healthy lifestyle but I’m not naturally thin. 


So now I need something else to be proud of.  Sure I’m proud that I’ve lost all that weight and kept it off.  Sure I’m proud that I’m almost at GOAL for Weight Watchers and my body is in the best condition its ever been.  Sure I’m proud of the way I’ve changed my life for the better.  But now I need new goals in order to keep pushing myself forward now that I’m not seeing a loss on the scale or a smaller clothes size or getting all the compliments.  For me I need a push still to maintain and not gain it back.


For me I think that running is definitely part of my new goals.  Eating journey has a great new challenge for herself called Un-stuff this turkey.  I’m going to take a cue from her book and give myself some goals.  Specifically some racing goals so that I will have something to push me forward.  I’ll let you know about them and post a page with my goals to push for so you can follow me on them.


Let me know what new goals you set for yourself to keep you motivated.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. 16/10/2009 8:57 AM

    I’m sure you’ll find your thing. By the way, have I mentioned how great it is that you’ve lost weight?

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