Quick and Easy
I’m still not feeling well and I have to preach today and take a bunch of people to a concert tonight so I’m trying to take it easy today. This post will be kind of quick and just a little thought.
How often do we try to cover up. I had a nice big zit on my nose that is now a red spot that I’m covering with make up today since we tape our church services for public access TV. It looks like I’m Rudolph trying to guide Santa’s sleigh. So I dug out the make up I’ve had for probably far to long to cover the spot. I never wear make up because I don’t like the time it takes to put it on and I honestly feel painted up when I do have it (although I do wear it for special occasions). But this spot was not pretty and I needed to cover it up to look “okay.”
So it got me thinking of what else I’ve covered up. I used to cover myself all the time. I wouldn’t wear skirts because my legs didn’t look right or stuff with spandex was off limits. I even had to wear a shirt and shorts over my swimsuit at the beach because I was ashamed of how I looked. I tried to hide from the world that I was unhappy with my body. I was covering up.
And you know what… I still am. Even with the weight loss I haven’t lost my worry about my body. Sure on the outside you see this…
But I still most of the time sometimes see this…
I haven’t gotten over my self esteem issues. But I’m working on it. Counseling and talking about how I see myself really helps me to change my mindset. I’m not now, nor was I then, useless. I’m not worthless because of my size or shape. I’m a beautiful person inside and out. I’m still a work in progress but I’m a beautiful one.
Caitlin’s Operation Beautiful really kind of helps me to see that. When I was in NYC doing some ministry while in seminary I saw a note on a subway entrance that had some sickly stick thin model toting the next thing that would make you feel beautiful. And that little sticky note just said, “You are beautiful just the way you are.” It kind of brought a smile to my face. I’d been having a bad day because my uniform was getting tighter and my hair wasn’t going the way I wanted. And that not just made me stop and smile. I was beautiful and I didn’t need to look like that model to do so. I didn’t need to be someone else and cover up the real me.
I’m not perfect now nor will I ever be. I’m just me and I’m working at it. Because I am beautiful just the way I am.
Head on over to Operation Beautiful and you can enter a contest that Caitlin is having to be in the new BOOK she’s writing. You can make someone’s day with a small note or tell of your encounter with a note.