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I’m a faker

22/09/2009

I’m a big fat faker and I admit it!  I like to pretend a lot of the time.  Not in a bad way but I like to think of myself as something I’m not always.  I guess you kind of need an example to know what I’m talking about.

 

On Saturday Hunni and I went to Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s for groceries.  We get some staples there because they are cheap or I can get them in bulk.  While at WF we like to eat at the Salad bar because it’s a nice meal we can get a lot of choices from for not too bad a price.  We usually spend about what we would at a restaurant.  Well anyway I like to pretend that I’m an uber healthy college student when I eat at the salad bar.  Sometimes I get all vegan stuff and sometimes I add some cheese so it’s only vegetarian.  I eat a huge bowl of it and drink tea on the side.  I know that I look young and people look at me like I’m on of the local college students.  I feel kind of proud that I can be uber healthy but at the same time I feel like a big fat faker because I do eat meat and pasta and stuff at home.

 

I also like to think that I’m younger than I am most of the time.  I get annoyed at times when people think I’m 16 (I do look young but not that young) but I don’t mind people thinking I’m in college as long as it’s not in a work setting.  I like being young because I have a Peter Pan complex sometimes.  I’m getting closer and closer to 30 and I’m okay with that in some ways and not in others.  I still think I’m a college student at times.  Weird I know.

 

I was talking to my friend last night about my health “craziness” and told her I don’t eat dessert any more.  I then had to confess it’s because I can’t handle the sugar not because I don’t like it or think it’s bad.  Strange to think that I have to eat a certain way and pretend I don’t like things because my body can’t handle them.

 

SO I feel like a big fat faker.  I feel like a fake runner because I don’t run naturally and enjoy the high but can’t take it too long.  I feel like a fake health nut because I still look at cheesecake with longing eyes wishing it wasn’t so high in calories and fat and wouldn’t turn me into a sugar crazed maniac.  I still look at college students and think I’m young like them instead of realizing I’m turning into a real career woman who has a real job and responsibilities instead of just being able to hang out and not get sleep.

 

But you know what…. I like who I am most days and I don’t mind if I’m not perfect in my eating habits, exercise or even age.  I like the way I’m maturing and growing.  I don’t need to be like anyone else because I’m just me and that’s just the way it is.  My healthy journey is different from yours.  We can learn from each other but we don’t have to compare ourselves to each other.  We’re all individuals.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. Emily permalink
    22/09/2009 11:20 AM

    I can relate with a lot of these sentiments.

    What really made me feel like an adult was working with the youth group at my church. Before I started doing that I felt like I was still playing house and just going through the motions with going to work and that I’d wake up and be a kid again the next day. But having them ask me stuff about being an adult really put that into perspective for me.

    For the health stuff, I think anyone who tells you they don’t like or want sweets ever is lying. You’re not faking it… you’re making constant smart decisions with what you put into your mouth. You’re cognizant of your choices, and because of that you’re not faking but actually DOING. Faking would be doing one thing outside the home and then doing another at home. Just because you’re eating veggie for one meal doesn’t make you a vegetarian OR a faker!

    • 22/09/2009 2:33 PM

      Thanks Emily! I like your last paragraph. I guess I have a habit of being all or nothing.

      I hear you on the working with teens thing. When I started being the youth group leader and pastor and not just hanging out it was really strangely real although I wish it wasn’t at times. 🙂

  2. 22/09/2009 8:47 PM

    This is a really interesting idea. Does your conclusion mean maybe you think you’re really not a faker? I don’t think you are! After all, you’d never have this blog if you weren’t so interested in health and fitness. I feel the same way you do sometimes (about everything from vegetarian eating to aging), but we’re all “good” sometimes and “bad” at other times. Keep your chin up!

    • 22/09/2009 9:18 PM

      I guess I’m not really a faker but I feel like it somedays. This kind of stems from looking at food blogs some times and wanting to eat uber healthy like them or be super eco friendly but it just doesn’t fit in with who I am. So I’m kind of taking the idea that I love that we can all be at different levels of healthiness and none of us is necessarily wrong.

  3. 23/09/2009 9:09 AM

    I have never really thought about this, but I totally understand where it’s coming from. I look very young still and could pass for a high school student, sadly, so it’s very hard for me to actually feel like an adult in most situations.

  4. 23/09/2009 9:30 AM

    I cheated – the polenta I had was from the tube not from scratch!

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