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How I got here…

06/08/2009

I wrote a brief explanation of my Weight Loss Journey up to this point in my About Me section but I thought it might be good to share a bit more about how I got to where I’m at.

I wasn’t really a fat kid.  In fact I have pictures of me as a young child thin and really active.  I used to love to run around, ride my bikes and just play with neighborhood kids.  You could hardly find me indoors so it didn’t really matter what I ate.  Then around age 12 my parents divorced and I started eating to comfort myself.  Cookies, candy, extra lunch; you name it I ate it.  And my parents fed us to make up for the demise of their marriage.  I don’t believe they did it to harm us but I just ate and ate and ate.

By the time I went to college I weighed about 200 on my 5’6″ frame.  Not aweful because I was active in marching band but not great.  However no one told me that in college there would be an unlimited buffet of food at every meal.  Not to mention entire boxes of velveeta shells and cheese, ice cream, cookies, and soda that would help to keep me going when the dining hall was closed.  I also got a job as a manager of the snack shop at school.  So I was always eating the extra pizza bites, wings, shakes, etc that we made.  We got free food so I ate it.  I never thought about how it was making me feel or how much weight I was gaining.  I was constantly wearing things with elastic waists and over sized t-shirts so I never really noticed the clothing sizes increasing.  In fact I would just go buy bigger stuff.

When I was a junior in college I started to notice that most of my friends and roommates where thin and I wasn’t.  It was affecting my relationships, both friendship and romantic.  I had a guy tell me he liked me but I was too heavy to date.  That hit to the core and I thought “all I need to do is lose the weight to be happy.”  I experimented with laxatives, not eating, throwing up, and none of it worked.  I was actually angry that I couldn’t be good at an ED because I just kept gaining.  I finally gave up and realized I would just be fat my whole life and ate what I wanted. 

When I graduated I weighed in at about 250.  Over the next year as I worked as a High School Spanish teacher I gained about 10 to 15 pounds more and thought I would always be the fat friend and no one would love me.  However in 2005 I started applying to seminary.  I knew that it was God’s plan for my life to be a pastor or more specifically a Salvation Army Officer (pastor and administrator at a church).  I went through all the applications and was about to be accepted when I recieved an email from the nurse at the school I was going to be attending.  She said I was a great candidate in all aspects except my weight.  It wasn’t just my weight but the health effects it was having on my body.  She said they would accept me but wanted me to lose some weight and work on getting healthier so that I could do my work in school better and eventually the job of an officer (we do a lot more than just preach on a Sunday).

I panicked!  I completely glazed over the part about them still accepting me and to just work on it.  I seriously thought that they would deny my acceptance unless I did something about my weight.  I spent a lot of time on the computer after the students left researching how to lose weight “right.”  I really thought it would be a lot like the phrase you hear alot in Maine “You can’t get there from Here.”  But I was determined.  I found a calorie counting website and read a lot about calories in vs. calories out.  I drove to the local book store and bought a calorie counter, a journal to record all my foods and joined my local gym.  I went home and emptied my house of all my food that wasn’t “healthy” and gave it to my friend.  Heck they were skinny and could eat that stuff right.  I even walked it the 15 minutes over to her house instead of driving it like I normally would.  I went grocery shopping and filled my house with “good” food.

Over the course of the next 6 month I lost about 80 or so pounds.  I was so proud to buy my uniforms in a smaller size for school.  No one even recognized me from my application pic because I looked so different.  I was so proud of myself and determined to keep it off.  Again the over abundance of food cooked for me and free didn’t help and I gained about 25 pounds back.  I just didn’t have as much control over what I ate and how much time I had for exercise. 

I was proud to still be under 200 pounds…until the day I wasn’t.  I cried.  I had worked so hard and never wanted to see a 2 in front of my weight again.  I had injured my back (still don’t know how) and couldn’t run any more and was just miserable.  The nurse at the school could tell and offered to let me join the Weight Watchers group they were starting for students.  I did so reluctantly thinking I should have been able to do it on my own like I did before.  But surprisingly I like the program.  It was simpler to me to count points instead of all the calories.  And I like that I had friends to do it with and once I found a leader I liked (I stopped going to the school ones and drove to a local center) she motivated me so much.  By the time I got ordained and married in June 2009 I was at my lowest weight ever…163! 

I stayed there for a while until my back just quit on me and I had to have spinal fusion to repair the 3 discs that were severely herniated.  I gained about 10 pounds through the surgery and recovery.  Ben and Jerry’s became my two best friends.  I didn’t even share the pint with Hunni like I used to.  I could barely eat for awhile so I made up for it with comfort foods. 

Now I’m at about 165 and happy.  I’m still working towards my goal of 155 and hope to hit it by the end of the year.  But I’m happy because my clothes fit amazing.  I’m either maintaining or losing and enjoying life.  I never thought I would be the thin one but I guess now I am.  My friends call me an inspiration and 2 of them have started WW because of it and are doing well themselves.  I just love my healthy life now and wouldn’t change it for the world.  So I guess you could say I got here by a lot of hard work and ups and downs but I got here and I’m moving forward every day 🙂

Question: What was your biggest motivation to lose weight?  Did you try the crazy diets first?

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One Comment leave one →
  1. 06/08/2009 1:29 PM

    what a beautiful story 🙂 moving forward every day is definitely the thing to focus on! it’s all those little things that add up to meeting our goals.

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