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Anger said feed me…

13/04/2009

Today my secretary wasn’t going to be in the office so I decided to close the office but still get work done.  Hunni didn’t understand that a closed office didn’t mean a vacation day.  So when I asked him to help me do something I was met with resistance.  It turned into a fight and I was upset.  The day just continued down hill from there.  Thank God we have couseling tomorrow.  Sometimes I just feel like I get no understanding.

Because of this my eating was all wacked out today.  I did yoga at 8.30am on FitTV and then ended up eating my oatmeal with brown sugar around 9.15am.  I snacked on a Clif Zbar Chocolate Brownie while I worked on the financial paperwork for this week.

Lunch was a busy time as I was working on our own personal finances.  I quickly made my treuglar chicken burger on Arnold sandwich thin with Laughing Cow swiss.  I had some baby carrots with roasted read pepper hummus.  I had planned to have some pretzel thins but I had some Pepperidge Farm Zesty Tomato crackers.  These things are crack!!! especially when you are emotionally eating.  I ended up finishing the box by the end of the night.

After some more fighting I had to get out of the house.  I should have hit the gym but Hunni was in the bedroom and I didn’t want to go in there to get stuff for the gym.  Instead I went and checked out the Frog Lotus Yoga studio for their schedule.  I’m looking forward to trying a yoga class instead of just doing it on TV/DVD.  I then went into the local quilt shop and got some retail therapy by buying a yard and a half of some beautiful fabric. 

I intended to go down to Target but it was the time that school was letting out and the busses were taking forever.  I wouldn’t have been back in time for Hunni to have Men’s Ministries.  Instead I went to the local Walmart..  I grabbed a small Dunkin Donuts Iced Hazelnut coffee with 4 splenda and extra skim milk.  I walked around and picked up a few things here and there.  I got the book Love Dare based on the movie Fireproof that I’m hoping will help.  I also got the latest copy of Runner’s World and a card for a friend to make her laugh.

The entire time I was walkign around Walmart I kept wanting to buy some really unhealthy food and eat it all in secret.  I do this a lot when I’m angry and I just eat and eat.  I was determined to not do it today because of myt chocolate chip problem of yesterday.  Instead I bought a package of Sugar Free Russell Stover Caramel Pecan Chews and had two of them.  They were only 1.5 points for the two.

I stopped in the grocery after that to get some fruit since I was seriously lacking in that area of my stash.  I got some good organic gala apples, plums, and asparagus.  I may have bought something else but I can’t recall.

I wasn’t going to cook dinner for Hunni but then I realized that that wouldn’t help the situation I was in.  I made whole wheat pizza fo dinner.  I put italian mixture cheese on Hunni’s side with Turkey Pepperoni and on my side I had Kraft Fat Free Mozzarella and Spinach.  It was quite yummy!  I also had an apple.

As I said earlier I finished off the box of crackers but I also had two plums and the rest of those chocolates just now.  I need to get away from the binging.  It is not helping.  I think I need to get my hind end to the gym because that helps me manage my hunger.

Anger isn’t helping the eating situation.  I’m hoping our counselor will help us so that we don’t have these blow ups.  I don’t like feeding the angry monster.

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